Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Love Will Find A Way

Amy Grant, Pablo Cruise, and even Lion King II had a cute little spin on this sentiment. Remaining connected can feel like a tall task when your running around like a nurse without a degree, who knows enough to be qualified and dangerous, as you prepare to send your first born off to college in less than 8 days, all while managing the pace of things inside a diagnosis that has turned your life upside down.

I'm doing good on any given day that I know my name, what day it is and how many children I have. Everything else I just roll with. Recently someone shared how they wanted to do something really special for Quentin and I because we've been operating like ships just passing in the night. Trust me it starts to feel like 'tag your it' and that our roles just shift to either 'care at the hospital' or 'care at home' with life thrown on top. We're all so happy to finally be at home together and settling into our new routine.

It is important in the midst of all this to find a way to remain connected as best we can, and if possible incorporate time for ourselves. Time for me could be so many things. Quentin enjoys playing basketball. He's been able to enjoy an Open Gym night with a friend of ours at his church. I remember when he and I used to get together with a group of guys from work (and an occasional girl) for a few hours of open gym play. Whew, that was when we were 'younger in love' and the knees could handle all that. And trust me those guys took NO pity on me. It was actually like they played harder against me for having the audacity to come out there, but it was all good. These days we just pull the cars out of the driveway and hoop it up. Momma's got a mean jump shot and Daddy's got a killer crossover. We talk a little bit of junk, d'ing each other up and matching each others shots. On a few occasions the neighborhood kids have gathered to get in on it. That's when we have to team up and show them what we're working with. #TeamBolton in a whole other arena. Yet I digress, I'm having a 'those were the days' Archie and Edith Bunker moment...yikes.

We may be a little off our game due to the parameters of our situation, but we do all we can to remain connected. Dinner together, making time to talk about life, love and things other than counts, appointments and Aplastic Anemia. Sometimes it's taking a walk and enjoying the splendor of everything around us or catching up on our Tivo'd shows. It's a chance to laugh at all the foolishness of reality tv which adds a sense of calm to our own lives. Our sleep cycles have been disrupted and often it feels like we're scrambling for time to do all we could not do during the day at night, but nothing feels better than actually sleeping in the same bed with the man I love! Some nights Mireya has a hard time resting without one of us nearby. Somehow she's got it twisted and thinks Mommy or Daddy are 'her' sleeping partners, although she did have one of us with her every night for almost 60 days straight. Someone mentioned a few weeks ago that they had the idea of taking care of the kids while Quentin and I go to a hotel and just rest. Sounded like a great proposal. Sleep is not overrated, but a hot commodity around here, and eventually we'll get caught up.

It's funny to see how the kids are meshing their worlds to be together. The girls have been solidly playing trains with Jalen. There's a version of Princesses and Dinosaurs, Walking with Beasts and Princesses, Lego Mania and the now infamous 'can we have a sleepover' question 'every' night of the week. They just want to be together as if they are making up for all the days and nights they were apart. We try to do what we can to make our family time meaningful and fun. We want everyone to feel included and loved despite how our lives have been changed. It's important that even though Mireya's getting a lot of attention and a lot of focus is being placed on her that they each know they are special and that we find ways to affirm that with each of them. It's not always easy, and yes we're tired, but it's worth it.

We'll be married 12 years in just a few days and I love this man more than I did even 1 year ago. There's something about the confidence in knowing who you are to one another that your love can be mutually expressed without words. Don't get it twisted, you still have to profess your love, and do things you enjoy together, but also create those new things that show how crazy you still are for one another after all this time, after the kids, after the challenges of life. In the end your still happy and blessed to look in the eyes of the one person who loves you with hair, without hair, skinny as the modeling days or hitting and holding with a few extra lbs per kid. That voice of love, support, reason, and encouragement. Even though we are faced with a demanding situation that is in a very monotonous and regimented stage, we have to make our relationship a priority. We are a reflection of God's love.

We will look back at this time (hopefully from a beautiful and luxurious island) and laugh, and reflect on the goodness of God and what it looks like to come out on the other side with your sanity, with laughter (we get hysterical over here), and holding the hand of the man you still feel so blessed to be married too. I couldn't see myself walking through this with anyone else. Love makes a way!