Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Lord Help Me

Moping and sadness have been circulating in the air. I can't believe Paris is going away to college in 1 day. Lord help me. I've asked for his help on this one over and over again and I continue to find myself wrecked emotionally. I'm so happy for Paris, but I'm so sad for us. She will be missed terribly. Her spirit of love, laughter and lighthearted goodness will be gone. Lord help me. The kids have been counting down the days. Jalen has exclaimed he will be going to his friend's house. In other words I just don't want to be here when this all goes down. Reya had her moment of 'the time is cutting me close' the other night and burst into tears. Makinely in her own way has just been hanging under Paris and asking to go in her room a bazillion times this week. Lord help us.

It doesn't help that you have so many other things tying up and pulling at your emotions. It's like most anything could take you to the bridge and your a sobbing crying mess. Paris is very much like me, she's very sensitive to people and things. We've gone from glassy eyes to tears streaming down our face in the realization of how much we are going to miss one another. I've been out of sorts all day. Paris asked 'what's wrong'. I said 'nothing', but she quickly chimed in 'oh i know you realize how much your going to miss me'...uh yes that is exactly what it is. Instead of bursting into tears, I went outside and quieting wept. Lord help me. I imagine the ride Friday being really exciting because we are all anticipating moving in and kicking off this new chapter and experience, however, it's the ride home I'm dreading. Actually leaving and knowing she's staying and we're going home without her. That will truly be a bittersweet moment. I know at some point it will get easier. Lord help me and heaven help us!

Psalms 46:1 God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.


  1. Ok now why am I crying?
    Hang in there!

  2. Although you will miss her...what is really exciting is hearing about all of her new discoveries...And seeing the world through her new independent eyes.

    Also...get ready for road trips!!! The little Boltons will lose their minds when they realize that they can actually get in a car and go see Paris at College. OMG...let the fun begin!!!

  3. Kyle you are right. We went back up there last week and the kids loved it. It's a pretty short trip, but 'are we there yet' started way to early

    Thank you Arleeta...we're hanging tough. Of course I have my moments.