I'm back in the hospital with Mireya and it's so good to see her laughing, playing and have better days. I love her so much and I want her well. Her innocence is heart warming, her discomfort is painful to watch, and her lack of 'full' understanding is difficult to work through at times. It doesn't matter how much you 'think' you've prepared someone or how prepared you 'believe' you are, when certain things happen it can still take your breath away, stop you in your tracks or shake you to the core. I want Mireya to be a happy 4 year old little girl without Severe Aplastic Anemia. I want her to be able to go outside and play, be around people without fear of infection or illness, I want her to be able to go to preschool, take a bath, or swim in the pool. She was really beginning to enjoy swimming again before all of this happened. Right now that is not my reality. I understand the 'why' behind most of this. She knows and understands the ultimate goal is to have her better. She's grown accustomed to the Hickman line and not getting it wet. She hates getting the dressing changed, but that line has made life a lot better (no more sticks)..happy, happy, joy, joy!! She gives us less of a struggle when it's time to put on a mask (donned with Princess stickers of course) because she understands even more about bacteria and how it is spread and that it can make you ill. She knows that despite how much she wants strawberries, grapes and apples that she cannot have those things right now.
What she still doesn't comprehend is how long she'll have to be here and why she can't just go home and be with her family. Jalen told me at breakfast on Monday morning that he couldn't wait until Mireya could leave the hospital and we could all be back together at home as a family