Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Bullying in Kindergarten

The first day of school was GREAT for my son. His only apprehension was riding the bus and by the afternoon drop off he thought the bus was very cool! The second day of school did not go so smoothly. A classmate told him to 'shut up.' He is a very sensitive child. He told me it hurt his feelings, he wanted to cry and come home. By the end of this line I wanted to cry. I applauded him for not crying and for sticking it out. The classmate also hit the little boy in the face that my son was playing with. I was quite surprised by the activities, but did my best to show my son how proud I was of him and explain the dynamics of little ones and friendship.

The third day of school and my son does not want to go. It appears that his spirit has been broken. What happened to that excited little boy who was thrilled to be going to his class. All that zeal taken away by the events of the previous day. Well Day 3 proved to be the most challenging for me, because my son came home to tell me the same child punched him in the nose. My emotions had me ready to roll up to the school and git r done. How could this happen and why? I spoke at length with my son's teacher about this issue. She has put some practical measures in place in the classroom and also gave me some recommendations to help Jalen. As a Mom you just want to protect your child from these random, unsolicited hurtful events. As if that wasn't enough, the straw that broke the camel's back happened that Friday. My son came home and told me this kid ate his lunch. He waited until that evening before bed on a Friday night to tell me this one. So I seethed over this all weekend long. Long story short, some things just can't be addressed in one fell swoop. I knew that if this child had been in middle school or even high school they would have been immediately expelled from the school. The county has a zero tolerance policy for such an offense, but this is ELEMENTARY school. I could hardly wrap my arms around it. I resisted everything that my emotions told me and tried to remain rational. It was apparent this little boy had some issues beyond just lashing out. I wanted immediate action taken. In speaking with his teacher, it was very unsettling to learn that this child had yet to spend one full day in class due to behavioral issues. I met with the principal, also enlisted the help and insight from an Aunt who is also a principal and has worked in this school system for over 20 years. Everyone was on board with a plan of action to help Jalen feel secure, to find his place and to enjoy his time at school. As parents, we did all we could to encourage, support and o bring back our son's thrill and excitement about school. We encouraged him to focus on new friendships. I started volunteering in the class weekly. After a few weeks things began to turn around. I found myself focusing some of my time there with the troubled little boy. He is a handful, but he really is a very bright and sweet child. I originally felt he should just be put in a class with all the other bullies. Just put them in a class together and let them beat each other up. I don't know if there is a diagnosis or what his home situation is, but something is amidst. He needs firm, yet affirmative interaction. He has become one of my favorite kids to see each week. Jalen is doing well. He is learning to be more assertive and is truly thriving in class. The difference a few months makes. I never imagined bullying in Kindergarten, but I suppose this type of negative behavior can rear it's ugly head regardless of age or good intention. I applaud the local and national efforts and initiatives to bring awareness to this issue. As a result it has created a unified front that bullying will not be tolerated.

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